söndag 19 februari 2012

My liver is like a tired hooker lying back and going to its happy place

So, I am hungover. And wearing a Pikachu-costume. These facts might be related, I really wouldn't know. All I know is that my head hurts and that my new cat is seriously afraid of me - but she is pretty much afraid of most things, as the situation at home with a female cat and a young male cat involves a lot of nervously slow movement, staring contests and hissing - it pretty much resembles the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962. You know, if Kennedy had gone on a poop-strike until the enemy left Cuba/the goddamn sofa and if the Russians had reciprocated by stealing all the toys and then hid under the bed for three days. I'm hungry but I'm too tired to actually get up and start cooking - Oh, my goddess Nigella, how do you do it? Every time I attempt to do some food porn, I just end up saying "me love you long time" to a pack of pasta. I would really make the worst food show host in the world: "Tonight, I will show you how to reheat leftovers your grandmother leaves outside your door  because she's worried that you will get scurvy otherwise. Later, we'll discover just how good a flavoring cat saliva is for your stew!". Thank god I have a boyfriend who doesn't know that he could do much better and four seasons of Doctor Who to look forward to.

Quick monthly summary:

Basic tasks I haven't accomplished this month:
- Study enough to pass my exams
- Clean the apartment
- Start exercising
- Stop putting bacon in everything I eat
- Apply for a job

Basic tasks I have accomplished this month:
- Vomited whilst wearing a Pikachu costume. What every mother dreams of for her little girl.

I'm seriously starting to question whether I have understood the idea of how one lives a bohemian lifestyle correctly.