1. Roller Coaster Tycoon
I can't even begin to describe how many little amusement park-goers I have brutally assassinated during the years I played Roller coaster Tycoon: I presume that the creators intended that the possibility to kill people with faulty roller coasters would suffice as a moral aspect of the game, to teach the players some responsibility, but giving kids the possibility to build a roller coaster that ends abruptly in mid air, turn the speed to a maximum and then watch wagon after wagon tumble down towards the ground is just pure madness - and pure entertainment for anyone with an inner sadistic child. The fact that you are also given the possibility to use your divine intervention as the maker of the amusement park for evil is absurdly disturbing: you can actually pick up visitors and drop them into the water, only to watch them scream and cry for help before they drown. Thus, Roller Coaster Tycoon is the perfect game if you like to play God and don't mind the smell of death and cotton candy - because even the kindest little innocent child will sit in front of the computer and yell "THIS IS FOR YOUR NEGATIVE RATING ON MY WATER SPLASH MOUNTAIN ADVENTURE, YOU BASTARD" whilst watching 75 amusement park visitors plummet to their death. Talk to your kids about amusement parks, or someone else will.
Level of cruelty: 8/10
2. The Sims:
I can't even express how realistic and messed up this game is: the game is the wet dream of every serial killer who is too fat to bother walking outside in order to kill people. You can set people on fire (narrow room, Persian mat, the lousy stove or fireplace and boom), drown people in the pool by removing the ladder, starve them, make them pee themselves so much they actually die of shame, electrocute them, scare them to death with the ghosts you have created, let your Sim be devoured by bugs - according to this video, you can actually barbeque your baby: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eq7iUmQck0&feature=related. Apart from killing people, you can commit adultery in front of your spouse, abuse your child enough for the social worker to come and take custody of the child (however, if you are quick, you can kill the social worker before she leaves with your baby. Because you care.) and any other whitetrash element of your choosing -there is room for every possible disturbing family you can imagine. However, sexual relations between family members or between minors are not yet possible. You know, because that would just be sick.
Level of cruelty 10/10
3. Mario Kart:
Because nothing says Road Safety like bombing your friends off of the road, intentionally leaving banana peels for them to slip on and crash into a wall or ingesting mushrooms in order to drive faster. The Fast and the Furious looks like a driving instructor's tutorial by comparison.
Level of cruelty 6/10
4. Pokemon
This is by far my favourite game ever since I was a kid: but I can't deny the fact that if you actually deconstruct the game, you realize it is as disturbing as any other game. This article http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/15/weirdest-pokemon-black-white/ describes perfectly the absurdity of the Pokemon games: "Considering that this is a world where ten year-olds are sent out to wander from town to town getting into super-powered cockfights and busting up international criminal organizations". One often finds oneself asking where the hell the social services are held up. However, the most disturbing theme in the games are the animal abuse - one needs not even bother mentioning the fact that the animals are being shrunk and enclosed in Pokeballs and forced to fight until they "faint" (which is, as we know, the only possible risk of being thrashed, drowned, set on fire or torn to pieces in an explosion). The true weirdness are more subtle, but once you realize it, you will never stop thinking about it. For instance, why the hell does Pokemon become pregnant when you enter them into daycare? And since it doesn't seem to exist any other animals, what the hell does people eat? I hardly believe they have all become vegetarians, since they don't seem to treat their pets all that well from the start. But, what do I know - Pokemon appears to be more loyal than regular animals - I for one know that if I asked my cat to follow me around the world fighting other animals for little scraps of metal, he would puke in my shoes for a year.
Level of cruelty 5/10
5. SimCity
If The Sims is the equivalent of a serial killer, SimCity is the equivalent of Pol Pot, Hitler and Stalin in one game. You can easily eradicate an entire city with just a few clicks and make it look like a natural disaster. Because you are fucking God now. I await the expansion SimHolocaust.
Level of cruelty 10/10
6. Tomb Raider
For giving archeology/history students hope of coolness and hot chicks for years. FOR SHAME.
Level of cruelty 3/10
I rest my case. Leave completely norming running-over-hooker-games-and-having-sex-with-aliens-games alone!
