When I started this blog, I intended it to be an comical outlet, somewhere I could write whatever I wanted without a care in the world and then just stop telling cancer jokes at childrens' birthday parties. A task we all must manage sooner or later in life, basically. The problem is, blogging is not really something that you spontaneously can do, at least not if you are a self-conscious, charmingly hysterical woman who constantly compares herself to all the other amazing comedians and bloggers out there (After first finding Hyperbole and a half and Steammeupkid, I cried for an hour, knowing that I could never reach their level of awesomeness) and can't even puke her guts out after a night of binge drinking without thinking "What angle does my ass look the best from when squatting in the bathroom and does my foundation match the contents of my stomach?". Basically, I am the worst suitable person for running a blog that is supposed to be funny, but mainly just ends up being relatively forced. And it does not really help that blogger.com informs me that it saves my draft every ten fucking seconds, because GOD FORBID the internet should be deprived of inspiring quotes such as "Iwantcakeiwantcakeiwantcakebutimuglyandiwantanowlbutfirstcatandthenadwarfimgonnawatchgameofthronesandjustdiealonewithmycake". So, my new aim is to not be so hard on myself; comedy cannot be forced, as proven by my earlier entries, and not feel bad about myself just because I can't produce 10 awesome jokes everydayabout genocide or misscarriages or whatever kids these days find funny, but that I'm good enough. I know that young women everywhere hate themselves for not being able to come up with witty sex puns on a regular basis, because that's an ideal which is being forced unto us by the media, so to all women out there - it's not the reference jokes that count, it's how big your boobs are. Spread the word, together we unite!