tisdag 15 november 2011

The city that never sleeps (but still won't hesitate to pass out drunk in your shower)

As I earlier mentioned, I went to New York for the first time a couple of weeks ago with my parents and my younger brother, and despite my aversion to flying managed to arrive safely without too many panic attacks on the plane (Hey, we all know that "Place your seat in the upright position" is an obvious code for "We are about to crash and die die DIE".) I did however manage to get blatantly drunk on Kahlua and six thousands cups of plane coffee in order to calm myself down, so I arrived at Newark a happy drunk. From what I can recall, I watched the same episode of Parks and recreation four times and tried to steal desserts from other passengers. Yes, I am THAT classy. We then took a cab to the hotel, situated in Midtown, and after gawking at the by-passing actor Hugh Jackman and realizing that America really is the land of possibilites (possibilites to get a heart attack) we got acquainted with the neighbourhood around the someone hectic Times Square and received strict orders from the hotel manager not to have any crazy parties in the hotel room, which I frankly thought was kind of unfair - you really can't have a proper family vacation with your family without passing out drunk on top of a hooker in a hotel room! What would we otherwise put in the family christmas letter?

                                                             Times Square

                                                                     Central Park

                                                              Where I spent most of my trip

                Come on people, you can see the "Made in China" labels! Evolution, it's a passing trend,      just like democracy and white jeans. 

                                                 Fell in love with this cow.

                  Went to an absinthe-bar in hipstery Williamsburg, ate oysters and found a friend. (Not alcohol  this time. That was a friendship bracelet gone to waste.

                                                             Was thrown out of Ladurée.


                                                             Visited West Village

Met the presidential candidate of the Republican party


                                                           Went to Obscura and fell in love with Evan and Mike - two of the most interesting, kind and well read people I have ever met. I wish I could have bought them. Hey, they have sold weirder things in the shop. 

                                                            Wanted to buy everything, but US customs went all buzz kill on me and prohibited me from bringing pure 1950's ether onto the plane. YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!!

                                                              Saw God. God swears a lot. 

And that's pretty much it. To sum things up, I fell in love with New York, but as I landed in the middle of the whole Herman Cain sex scandal I can only say that my perception of American politics are as pessimistic as before. As I was jet lagged I woke up earlier than everyone else and decided to walk the streets, and witnesses the hobo raid that takes place every morning, when the police removes all homeless people from the fancier streets so people won't have their shopping experience tainted by reality. It made me sick, how one side of Manhattan was filled with special fast food restaurants for people's pets, and that another showed signs of poverty, abuse and inequality. And yet, politicians depicts the situation as taken care of by the benevolent supermen called police men, just trying to relieve the rich from the burden of seeing the less fortunate suffer. Sure, my country's welfare system isn't always functioning as properly as I would like it to, but after spending only a week in the United States, I realized that their welfare system is just like a superman; but instead of arriving in time, it arrives three hours after you needed help, and then shoots you in the foot.

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