Kittens - a cynical woman's worst enemy

I have during the years created a quite solid reputation as a stern, cynical and sometimes straight out disgusting girl with a tendency to say inappropriate things when nervous and being chronically afraid of pregnant women (they have another living parasitic thing inside of them!!! Has nobody seen Alien vs Predator?? Don't tell me I didn't warn you.) My sense of humor is upright abnormally politically incorrect, and I am seriously considering printing businesscard with my name and the sentence "I'm not a nazi, it was just a joke!" as a social procaution. But there is one thing, that completely shatters my bitter exterior and sends me into a downward spiral of "OMFG ITS SO CUTE I WANNA EAT IT AND PUKE IT UP AND SNUGGLE WITH IT UNTIL I DIIIIIIIIIE"s and "LOOK AT THE LITTLE FEET, OH THE LITTLE FEET! STOP STARING AT THE NEWS ABOUT ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE, LOOK AT THE GODDAMN LITTLE FEET!" What it comes down to is to prioritize.

Let me introduce you to my very own kryptonite: Nietzsche. And I love him even though he doesn't have syphilis. But just because I am of a very forgiving nature.