My ego and I have had quite a complicated relationship ever since I hit puberty; most of the time we get along just fine, smalltalk about the weather and part as friends - sometimes we are even the best of friends (always when alcohol is involved), the BFFs of self confidence, and my ego supports any spontanious whimsy of mine, for example, to try to put on an Oscar Wilde-play using onion rings at the bar or my decisive yearning to try to surf on top of a police car (if they didn't want people to dance on top of it, why put on the funloving untz untz light?) But the past few years, I have grown quite tired of being polite towards my ego. I can sometimes catch my self esteem glancing at other people's egos, wearing those tight little skirts to show off its taunt perception of my worthiness as a human being and letting all sorts of people eyeball the goods - the diploma from the creative writing competition, relatively sufficient grades and acceptable looks. Well, I have put enough of this crap - it is time to teach my self esteem a lesson. Putting on the wife beater shirt, thrusting a big piece of snuff up my lip, and chasing my ego down, trapping it in a corner with a raised palm.
BITCH I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!!
Please, you have been drinking. Please, not in front of the children; don't let Potential and Perception of body see you like this! I promise, I'll be good!
BITCH YOU BETTER BE GOOD! SO IF I ASK YOU "AM I GOOD ENOUGH?", WHAT DO YOU TELL ME?
I'll tell you... I'll tell you... You are good enough?
WHAT DO YOU TELL ME?
That you are fat, worthless and ignorant, and that you spend too much time on the internet.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! AND WHEN PEOPLE ASK YOU WHERE YOU GOT THE BRUISES FROM?
I'll tell them I fell down the stairs.
GOOD GIRL! HAVE ANOTHER SLAP!
It is important to keep your ego in check -it asked for trouble with its "you are beautiful because you are you" - LIES UPON LIES! Now bring me a beer.