So, my ten alternatives for new, kinky S&M adapted to the lazy and insidious:
1. Not putting on the cap on the toothpaste after using it
2. Putting CD's in the wrong covers
3. Forwarding chain mail
4. Leaving clipped toe nails in the bathroom sink
5. Intentionally tripping your spouse whilst he/she is carrying food
6. Buying fruit when your spouse asked for chocolate because "fruit is candy"
7. Putting the spark back into the relationship by doing something new; like killing a hobo or start robbing banks. Because nothing says reconnecting as a couple like couple's killing spree. Makes your spouse feel included.
8. Telling all of your boyfriend's friends that he secretly cries to How I met your mother.
9. Spoiling the end of that film he been wanting to see for months.
10. Secretly switch his pizza toppings to something he hates.
Remember; a black eye will hurt for a week, but a lost pizza topping will hurt for months.
How I have a boyfriend is beyond me.