I've had my little laptop for a few years now. I've named him Edgar and I would like to think that he is a squeamish, slightly pudgy little boy with freckles and a really unhealthy relationship to his mother (i.e. me). The problem that I have been encountering lately is that Edgar isn't feeling so good. To be honest, Edgar is quite sick. He won't let me install Word, he repeatedly shuts down my wi-fi connection just to draw attention to himself and he has a panic attack every time I try to play a clip on Youtube, convinced that he "is hearing voices". The thing is that I tend to view my computer as an overly-optimistic child with cancer, just due to the fact that even though all the systems are failing, even though the anti-virus protection is nowhere to be seen and a trojan horse is crapping all over the essay I have been working on for days (backups are for weaklings, we all know that) even though all these things are occurring at the same time, he still ensures me that everything's gonna be just okay. He's ready. He's said his goodbyes to Youtube and funny memes of cats. And yet I have to promise him that as soon as the chemo is done we can go to Disney Land just to make the damn computer PRINT ONE STUPID PAPER.